Act I

An urban bar.

So, I'm here in chennai sitting at the airport measuring how my day has been. I flew in an ATR for the first time. Good. It rained as soon as I landed. Good. I had to fight with autowallas to get to the US embassy. Bad. The guy took me round and round. Also bad. Chennai is big. Good. It is freaking hot. Also good. :)

So far I was loving it. But, the thing that turned it around was the fact that I roamed around for two hours in the blistering heat and I could not find a single coffee shop or a place where I could just sit and kill the three hours that I had to kill. I arrived early morning at 8 and the visa appointment was at 15 past noon. Now, this really pissed me off. I thought I'd just sit in the church near-by. Wrong. The security guard (yeah! this church had one) told me I could not sit there. So, I fought with him for fifteen minutes over, "why?" Futile. So, I just opened my laptop and sat at the footpath and tried to catch up on some mail. Wrong again.

What was my fault? A cop came and told me I could not use my laptop on the footpath, apparently, there was a US embassy camera overlooking that part of the footpath. Hence, my using my laptop on a public footpath was a security risk for the US embassy and hence a security risk for the Government of America. What is the logic there? I fought with him. But, soon I was out-numbered and I though it sensible to move away (5 meters) from the vision of the camera, You see I posed no security risk there, as I was not under the vision of the camera.

  

Act II

A country road. A tree.

Ok. now I had successfully killed three hours and it was time for my appointment, as I tried to walk past the "security" they told me I could not take my bag in, the camera and the laptop posed a huge security risk and could not be allowed in. One dude was not allowed because he was carrying a cellphone. Now, he tried to tell that It is switched off. Wrong. The device is lethal explained the expert cop and can not be allowed in. I said OK. I won't take it in but, you could keep it somewhere for me.

"Yes! we can keep it in a 'secure place' ", said the cop. he led the way and we walked behind him to the "secure place", some 500 meters down the road, and guys! this is the killer ah! wait, I think I'll save the killer for later. So, we reached a tea stall, the usual tea stall made of tin, "This is the secure place", said the cop. Now, I don't know about you but, The embassy won't allow me to bring in my cellphone and a tea stall made of tin is a safe place for my $2000 laptop and $1000 camera?

So, I turned and went back at the embassy gates, fought with the security guards and the cops, they said I could not go in with my bag and that they can not keep it for me. Obviously, they all were part of some scam, and I returned to the stall. I gave the guy my bag. And here is the killer, "100 rupees", says the tea stall guy. So, obviously the security guards, the cops, and the tea stall guy were all together in this one.

I saw it clearly, they had a plan. We all are a bunch of fools I say, why do we go to work everyday? Now, these guys have figured it all out.

step 1: Disallow cellphones.
step 2: Raise a tea stall.
step 3: Profit.

Almost everyone carries a cellphone. There are perhaps three thousand interviews a day, use your imagination.

Act III

Hazy dream. Plastic atmosphere.

Last week, at foss.in sirtaj told me a story.

Sirtaj: "Once I was browsing through a bookstore, where I overheard a bunch of IITans talking about technology and tech books, then and there I decided: No matter what happens, I never want to be as ignorant as these guys! and that changed my life."

Just in front of my visa interview queue, stood one of "these guys", a dude from an IIT, who wanted to go to America. "Why do you want to study in America?", asked the interviewer, "because as soon as I'm in 5th sem I'll find a job and then I'm done there for life", thought I. "Because the technology is so great there", said our dude. "Explain?", asked the interviewer. Now, it is worth mentioning that this guy was wearing a black suit in 30 degrees chennai heat. Of-course it was not adding anything to his intellect. He wasted the next 4 minutes of his life saying, "It is so great there." in seven different ways. He was nervous. He stuttered. He could not convert his thoughts into sentences, it didn't help and the interviewer said, "I'm rejecting your application, and I want you to think about why I'm rejecting it."

Our dude didn't take it well. "I'm from IIT", he said. and some more garbage that I don't remember.

"Hi", he said to me now, "how you doing", I replied. It's worth mentioning that I was wearing a swag wear t-shirt, which said "oscAmp 2006" and a pair of jeans which I've been in since the last 15 days. "you work for Yahoo!?", "yeah!", I replied. "you know the mail beta is really slow, and when I add images they don't reach people. I've stopped using the beta now. You guys should really bring it out fast ... gmail is everywhere you know? .... .... ... ", that was my interview.

I assured him I'll file a bug. :)